So, hockey isn’t for everyone? Really? That’s very sad

 Dear NHL,

I’m queer; I’m a male to female transsexual. I’m also bisexual. And also, I love hockey.

I transitioned very late, so I even played hockey as a boy, I was a goalie: one year bantam, then I played midget for three years since they were short on goalies. I was really not at my place.

Looking back, I would have been much more at my place with girls. I was a girl; only, I didn’t really know… the society forbid me to even think of that.

I saw Béliveau play, but I had turned to the Bruins as a child and I was happy seeing Phil Esposito, Wayne Cashman, Ken Hodge, Gerry Cheevers… (was Bobby Orr playing still then?) raise the cup. Was it in 1971? It was warm outside, almost summer, I remember, they played on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. I also saw Paul Henderson live, scoring the winning goal in Moscow in 1972.

Hockey is part of my childhood, I made a rink in my backyard every winter, then passed on the skills I had developed to my nephew when he was twelve.

Then life went on and besides playing one year in a garage summer league, I didn’t play the game anymore, but I covered a Junior A team as a member of a media, although I was mainly assigned to municipal affairs, and I followed the team all the way to the Royal Bank Cup, as it was very successful the year I worked for that newspaper; that was a thrill.

Hockey has always been part of my life, I cheered for the Nordiques in my twenties, then I rejoined the fanbase of the team I should have supported from the start (but kids get confused sometimes), the one and only Canadiens de Montréal, since I live in Montréal.

And since 2005, I didn’t miss many Habs games, surely less than 20. Yes, I watch all the Canadiens' games. I had learned from following the Hawks to the Royal Bank Cup that one needs to watch all the games to get to know the game, the team, the spirit.

That’s a very long introduction… But I wanted to let you know how sad I am (and scared also) to see some of your players plainly refusing to wear the Pride Jerseys. Isn’t it in their contracts to do those promotions? If not it should be, and be sanctioned. It should be sanctioned!

I mean, you know… when I announced to my close friends I was trans, when I came out, one of their first counter arguments was: “but you watch hockey! You can’t be a woman”, and I was like… Come on, guys… Hockey is for everyone, what is that stereotype?

Then I really pondered if I should push aside my interest in hockey, but hey: it does interest me still !! I watch it while filing my fingernails and grooming my hair. Even if taking estrogen changed my perception of many things, hockey included, I’m still interested. I do find it more violent than before and I always fear for the safety of all the players, which I used not to bother with before, but the excitement hockey brings, NHL hockey, especially the Playoffs, is unsurpassed by no other sport nor even any other activity.

Socially, for us here in Montréal, hockey is very important: it’s part of our past, it’s one of the pillars of our culture. It touches everyone, whether they are boys, men, girls, women, immigrants, and all the queer community too. It’s THE club, and THE subject of interest; of everyone. It’s part of the community.

So I was quite shocked to read a Tweet from a local old-timer sports reporter saying that the NHL should push aside… wait, I’ll copy-paste it here, so it’s clear, here’s the tweet:

“These Pride Nights are proving that NHL shouldn't pretend to be something it isn't. Hockey isn't really for everyone. I imagine NHL will stop having these nights next season. Makes for bad PR”

So, hockey isn’t for everyone, he says, the NHL shouldn’t pretend to be what it isn’t…

OMG can someone please explain what this means? Who is hockey not for? What is this mess happening, NHL, was it a trap? Was it done so that every LGBTQIA+ person in North America gets reminded they are the only ones not invited to that show? To remind them (they knew hey) that most players despise queers? Most fans.

Women hockey is growing, kids are welcome to any rink anytime, but Hey there, is that blue in your hair? Pink on your fingernails? Are you… what, queer or something? Are you a boy or a girl?

Not allowed! This sport is not for you. Everyone else but not you. “Hockey isn't really for everyone” says to the world that old Habs reporter.

I think you messed up, NHL. I don’t know what happened but one thing that got reinvigorated this year is the boys club feeling oozing out from the NHL dressing rooms, and every LGBTQIA+ person in North America got the message clearly: we won’t even recognise you exist, you don’t have what it takes to appreciate the sport, you’re not welcome here.

I’m quite certain the NHL Pride Nights project was created because the queer community represents a potential (quite rich) and underexploited market. I think it misfired, as I myself am unsure if I should… ok then, I mean… move on to something else? WTF, they refuse to recognise we even exist.

Oh right, it’s only a few players… Well it’s a few too many, for how are you going to stop the hate from spreading now? What is the next step? Is hockey and queerness compatible at all? I might be weird but I’m human, and I love hockey. So... you guys want my money? Or should I spend it elsewhere?

A little reminder here that the team that won the most championships was founded so that French-Canadians could play the game, as they were second class people back in 1909 and were generally despised by club owners, managers, and most players too.

Are we again at a time where some people don't have access to hockey? Maybe it's time for the “Houston Queers” or something? So that the LGBTQIA+ community feel like they are humans too? And are allowed to (at least) watch NHL hockey without being despised by the players and the league, and fans and reporters… Because that is the message the LGBTQIA+ is catching here right now; obviously, many players who did warm up in Pride Jerseys were not much at ease doing so. Just some of them refused, but they represent more, we all know that. And that’s a problem. They’re only jerseys, but to refuse to wear it is a message of hate. It becomes a symbol. Jerseys are symbols. And the hate is spreading right now.

The words from some of your players are very hurting, they act as symbols, and the situation now is much, much worse than before: San Jose Sharks’ Reimer wrote that his god asks of him “to love everyone”… except queers, faggots and lesbians, I suppose? Look, these words deny the status of human to any member of the LGBTQIA+; like I love everyone, but you're not part of that “everyone”... WTF

Anyways I don’t know, NHL, what your next step will be to try to make up with the LGBTQIA+ community, but you better get at it. I also like CFL football, and arts… I can find something else to do.

I also think that fighting should be more severely sanctioned but that will be for another time. We can get to this later. First find a way to help the LGBTQIA+ community feel part of hockey. 'Cause we're humans too.

Thank you very much for your time

A Montréal transsexual hockey fan

Dominique Rock