Human Stories

 There was a time in human history, and for many, many millennia, when facts and reality blended on a daily basis with made up stories, with dreams, spending many hours discussing and elaborating them together by the fire.

These were times when the night was dark, very dark. People nowadays don't realize how dark it was on New Moon or cloudy nights; just beyond the fire…. have you ever been around a campfire in the wild? or even by a cottage? Soon the night surrounds you like a wall, only a little circle of light around the fire remains, and as the hours pass by and more wood is added to the fire, with the social circle also being restrained to the circle of light surrounding the fire, and more and more as the night deepens, and strange cracking and other noises can be heard here and there through the night coming from the outside the circle of light…

The reality is changed by the night, and any fact becomes as uncertain as the weird sounds coming from the night. And people shared their dreams, many of which obviously partly invented (did we remember our dreams more 50 000 years ago? I don’t think so; they were made up), and everything blended together, and…

Faith! That is what is distinctive of Homo Sapiens: faith. So people believed the stories as true, think of Ancient Greeks… Did they really believe in Zeus and all? Yes and no.

Contrary to the monotheist religions that followed up, the Ancient Greeks knew their Pantheon of Gods were made up stories. They did! And same with the First Nations of America, a small glimpse of what our ancestors might have behaved like, all First Nations people knew that dreams and facts blended, that facts are always told, reported, so a story anyways.

So the life of the humans, well Homo Sapiens, is made up of a blend of stories some based on facts, but the same fact can be seen many ways, and humans have known that for a very long time; for always actually. This is what humanity is: stories and faith. If you believe it, it becomes true, you just need to make it up well, so that people believe it. It’s been like that for always, this IS what a human is. The Ancient Greeks structured it into tragedy and comedy, and on this is still based the whole theater and film industry of making stories that rules our world. How many times did fiction foretold reality?

And so Neanderthal, with whom Sapiens mixed, wasn’t like that at all. They didn’t have faith nor stories. Most certainly, they spoke little by the fire.

Neanderthal acted exactly like those in the spectrum of autism, and research is ongoing to link autism with Neanderthal.

Some of us humans have a hard time believing; in anything. It’s the Neanderthal genes.

In the long story of humanity, there’s been so many ways to be human, it all narrowed down to a few large cultures nowadays but there were so many ways to be, to think… the set of values around which groups of people gathered, their beliefs… has been very, very diverse, just think of the Aztecs normalizing human sacrifice, and making it a show and a a cultural value… that’s just one exemple. There existed many human societies whose values would shock us now, to the point that they’d be very difficult to believe.

But what stands out is that most if not all of the members of these human communities firmly believed in the story they lived in. They eventually gathered more people around one fictional idea and went to war with it… My story is true, I have more believers following me…

All this because we’re losing capacity to realize that reality has many sides. No, it’s impossible for a reporter, the media, to be totally objective. Impossible. It’s always a story told a certain way, that you believe or decide not to.

 

Dominique Rock

 OK wow I still have that Blog haha... that no one ever reads

what have I got to say? not much

So, hockey isn’t for everyone? Really? That’s very sad

 Dear NHL,

I’m queer; I’m a male to female transsexual. I’m also bisexual. And also, I love hockey.

I transitioned very late, so I even played hockey as a boy, I was a goalie: one year bantam, then I played midget for three years since they were short on goalies. I was really not at my place.

Looking back, I would have been much more at my place with girls. I was a girl; only, I didn’t really know… the society forbid me to even think of that.

I saw Béliveau play, but I had turned to the Bruins as a child and I was happy seeing Phil Esposito, Wayne Cashman, Ken Hodge, Gerry Cheevers… (was Bobby Orr playing still then?) raise the cup. Was it in 1971? It was warm outside, almost summer, I remember, they played on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon. I also saw Paul Henderson live, scoring the winning goal in Moscow in 1972.

Hockey is part of my childhood, I made a rink in my backyard every winter, then passed on the skills I had developed to my nephew when he was twelve.

Then life went on and besides playing one year in a garage summer league, I didn’t play the game anymore, but I covered a Junior A team as a member of a media, although I was mainly assigned to municipal affairs, and I followed the team all the way to the Royal Bank Cup, as it was very successful the year I worked for that newspaper; that was a thrill.

Hockey has always been part of my life, I cheered for the Nordiques in my twenties, then I rejoined the fanbase of the team I should have supported from the start (but kids get confused sometimes), the one and only Canadiens de Montréal, since I live in Montréal.

And since 2005, I didn’t miss many Habs games, surely less than 20. Yes, I watch all the Canadiens' games. I had learned from following the Hawks to the Royal Bank Cup that one needs to watch all the games to get to know the game, the team, the spirit.

That’s a very long introduction… But I wanted to let you know how sad I am (and scared also) to see some of your players plainly refusing to wear the Pride Jerseys. Isn’t it in their contracts to do those promotions? If not it should be, and be sanctioned. It should be sanctioned!

I mean, you know… when I announced to my close friends I was trans, when I came out, one of their first counter arguments was: “but you watch hockey! You can’t be a woman”, and I was like… Come on, guys… Hockey is for everyone, what is that stereotype?

Then I really pondered if I should push aside my interest in hockey, but hey: it does interest me still !! I watch it while filing my fingernails and grooming my hair. Even if taking estrogen changed my perception of many things, hockey included, I’m still interested. I do find it more violent than before and I always fear for the safety of all the players, which I used not to bother with before, but the excitement hockey brings, NHL hockey, especially the Playoffs, is unsurpassed by no other sport nor even any other activity.

Socially, for us here in Montréal, hockey is very important: it’s part of our past, it’s one of the pillars of our culture. It touches everyone, whether they are boys, men, girls, women, immigrants, and all the queer community too. It’s THE club, and THE subject of interest; of everyone. It’s part of the community.

So I was quite shocked to read a Tweet from a local old-timer sports reporter saying that the NHL should push aside… wait, I’ll copy-paste it here, so it’s clear, here’s the tweet:

“These Pride Nights are proving that NHL shouldn't pretend to be something it isn't. Hockey isn't really for everyone. I imagine NHL will stop having these nights next season. Makes for bad PR”

So, hockey isn’t for everyone, he says, the NHL shouldn’t pretend to be what it isn’t…

OMG can someone please explain what this means? Who is hockey not for? What is this mess happening, NHL, was it a trap? Was it done so that every LGBTQIA+ person in North America gets reminded they are the only ones not invited to that show? To remind them (they knew hey) that most players despise queers? Most fans.

Women hockey is growing, kids are welcome to any rink anytime, but Hey there, is that blue in your hair? Pink on your fingernails? Are you… what, queer or something? Are you a boy or a girl?

Not allowed! This sport is not for you. Everyone else but not you. “Hockey isn't really for everyone” says to the world that old Habs reporter.

I think you messed up, NHL. I don’t know what happened but one thing that got reinvigorated this year is the boys club feeling oozing out from the NHL dressing rooms, and every LGBTQIA+ person in North America got the message clearly: we won’t even recognise you exist, you don’t have what it takes to appreciate the sport, you’re not welcome here.

I’m quite certain the NHL Pride Nights project was created because the queer community represents a potential (quite rich) and underexploited market. I think it misfired, as I myself am unsure if I should… ok then, I mean… move on to something else? WTF, they refuse to recognise we even exist.

Oh right, it’s only a few players… Well it’s a few too many, for how are you going to stop the hate from spreading now? What is the next step? Is hockey and queerness compatible at all? I might be weird but I’m human, and I love hockey. So... you guys want my money? Or should I spend it elsewhere?

A little reminder here that the team that won the most championships was founded so that French-Canadians could play the game, as they were second class people back in 1909 and were generally despised by club owners, managers, and most players too.

Are we again at a time where some people don't have access to hockey? Maybe it's time for the “Houston Queers” or something? So that the LGBTQIA+ community feel like they are humans too? And are allowed to (at least) watch NHL hockey without being despised by the players and the league, and fans and reporters… Because that is the message the LGBTQIA+ is catching here right now; obviously, many players who did warm up in Pride Jerseys were not much at ease doing so. Just some of them refused, but they represent more, we all know that. And that’s a problem. They’re only jerseys, but to refuse to wear it is a message of hate. It becomes a symbol. Jerseys are symbols. And the hate is spreading right now.

The words from some of your players are very hurting, they act as symbols, and the situation now is much, much worse than before: San Jose Sharks’ Reimer wrote that his god asks of him “to love everyone”… except queers, faggots and lesbians, I suppose? Look, these words deny the status of human to any member of the LGBTQIA+; like I love everyone, but you're not part of that “everyone”... WTF

Anyways I don’t know, NHL, what your next step will be to try to make up with the LGBTQIA+ community, but you better get at it. I also like CFL football, and arts… I can find something else to do.

I also think that fighting should be more severely sanctioned but that will be for another time. We can get to this later. First find a way to help the LGBTQIA+ community feel part of hockey. 'Cause we're humans too.

Thank you very much for your time

A Montréal transsexual hockey fan

Dominique Rock

Moving out of my Luxury Shelter

Some 18 months ago, I moved in this 65 rooms building, which depressed me a lot. I spent the Winter in that 10 X 11 ft room and it was totally depressing, it felt as if I was in prison with almost no natural light coming in. Then there was a cockroaches prob, and apparently there was bed bugs in some of the rooms, probably not mine (although I'm not sure). The janitor sprayed...

Just around that time, as they were also raising the price of my room, I FOUND ANOTHER PLACE TO LIVE !!!!

So I'm moving out in a few days, and this is the best news in my life since many years.

New place, new roommates, new neighborhood, new start, with brand new furniture (finally a comfortable chair)... Yay!!!

On top of this, I will feel much more at ease to type and write, which is one of the last things I can actually do (for I'm too offline with society to do anything else).

Anyways... more writings to come :)

Dominique Rock

2000 générations d'humains

 depuis que Homo Sapiens a rencontré Nenderthal, il y a quelque 2000 générations (45,000 ans, 20 ans par génération)

certains avancent que c'est à cette époque que Homo Sapiens a commencé à domestiquer le loup:

 https://www.hup.harvard.edu/catalog.php?isbn=9780674975415

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pat_Shipman

les loups ont pu atteindre plus de 40,000 générations avant de devenir chihuahua ou lévrier

les humains quant à eux, pour évoluer ou régresser génétiquement ont besoin de plus de temps

45,000 ans, 2000 générations

11,000 générations seulement depuis l'émergence de Homo Sapiens il y a disons 225,000 ans

comparativement à plus de 40,000 pour le chien depuis 45,000 ans

Bref... Est-ce que 2000 générations, c'est suffisant pour obtenir de réels changements génétiques sur la morphologie et ou le cerveau?

Ne sommes-nous pas assez semblables à nos ancêtres d'il y a 30,000 ans? Et donc absolument pas équipés pour notre vie sédentaire, ce qui cause des dérèglements...

La culture, ou plutôt les cultures, exigent que l'on agisse de telle manière, alors qu'en  fait on parle à des homo sapiens d'il y a 30,000-40,000 ans, en fait. Le cerveau n'a pas pu suivre plus que le reste du corps...

Il faudrait encore quelque 25-30,000 générations supplémentaires  d'humain pour que le cerveau soit bien ou mieux adapté aux règles des cultures que les humains ont développées.

Donc bref l'explication pour des gestes barbares commis par des humains qui dérogent gravement aux règles des cultures humaines se trouve beaucoup dans la génétique, je pense...

Certaines lignées d'humains ont probablement plus de générations, et d'autres moins, certaines ont développé des traits mieux adaptés, d'autres moins...

on est encore en pleine évolution rien n'est fixe, et ...

reste à voir lesquels des traits humains la nature se débarrassera et lesquels seront mieux exprimés dans 30,000 générations

est-ce que, tels les bonobos, les humains élimineront la violence de leur génétique exprimée? Ou si au contraire les violents disposeront d'un avantage notable et que ce trait sera accentué dans l'avenir?

Cela dit, les quelque 2000 générations d'évolution des humains depuis 45,000 ans ne les préparent aucunement, mais alors là aucunement!!! aux changements climatiques majeurs qui s'annoncent pour les siècles à venir.

Encore une fois, le temps nous glisse entre les mains.

Et peut-être que notre temps comme "Invaders" sera bientôt terminé, et que la nature reprendra le dessus

certains humains survivront, et l'espèce continuera mais... à sa place comme une des nombreuses espèces vivant sur terre, pas le tyran

encore... lisez Pat Shipman

https://www.chapters.indigo.ca/en-ca/books/the-invaders-how-humans-and/9780674975415-item.html

Dominique Rock

Fluides et entropie

Un peu plus d'une année après avoir reçu mon dernier refus d'éditeur, je publie à nouveau mon roman (je l'avais fait, puis retiré, avant la plus récente réécriture majeure de mon manuscrit), et j'ai finalement trouvé un titre que j'aime et qui fait vraiment référence à l'essence du texte, Fluides et entropie.

Je voulais le faire plus tôt, mais c'est le titre qui m'arrêtait: de tous les titres qu'a porté ce manuscrit aux différentes étapes de réécriture, aucun ne convenait.

Fluides et entropie, même si on pourrait penser qu'il s'agit d'un traité scientifique sur la dynamique des fluides, est un titre parfait; une fois le texte absorbé complètement, on saisit le lien.

J'ai choisi Kobo Writing Life plutôt que Smashwords la dernière fois pour des questions techniques.

Évidemment, je ne m'attends à rien du tout de ce geste, pas même une vente, tout comme je sais que personne ne lit ce blog, mais au moins, c'est fait.

Ce qui m'a décidée l'autre jour est que je me suis mise à relire; je ne l'avais pas fait depuis la 2e réécriture terminée en novembre 2019. J'ai trouvé ça très bon. C'est très bon!

D'ailleurs plusieurs éditeurs m'ont signalé la qualité de mon texte. L'éditrice de mon plus récent refus, Les Herbes rouges, précisait qu'ils avaient lu mon manuscrit jusqu'au bout, sans en dire plus mais c'est suffisant pour que je comprenne qu'il était quand même assez bon pour ça, ce qui est un honneur pour moi.

J'aimerais savoir ce qui retient les éditeurs de me publier... Il est fort possible que je fasse de l'appropriation culturelle ou un autre truc honni de nos jours, va savoir.

Ce n'est certainement pas un texte léger en ce sens que Soliane n'y va pas de main-morte dans sa déconstruction des sociétés humaines, et au final... Ben il n'y a pas de chute comme il doit y en avoir une si c'était une nouvelle, mais c'est un roman.

La fin est aussi fluide que le reste.

Voici le lien pour acheter (en ebook) Fluides et entropie sur Kobo

Acheter Fluides et entropie sur Kobo

Dominique Rock

Nothing

I don’t know what to do… to find a grip to hold on to life. I’ve had dark clouds over my head all my life, much more at the start and towards the end (now), but it’s the first time the emptiness is so abyssal.

Facing the fact I might need to join back the workforce, death grows in weight in the balance. Certainly the invasion of Ukraine by Russia, and the vivid possibility that the World will drastically change, that the state of things being coolly growing will stop, adds to it. I see no future. And I’m old. And my heart recently stopped pounding for the only ray of sunshine I’ve had for the past three years. It was a crazy thought and relation; I think she’s my friend, even more and more, but it doesn’t burn in my chest anymore when I think of her. I never see her and she barely communicates, and any relation with her is as stupid a thought than going on living.

I smoked cannabis but it didn’t change my mood as it usually does. I really cannot see any point in going on living. I took progesterone as my present state could certainly be simply biochemical. I don’t have enough prescription of progesterone left to take it regularly. When I will also run out of estrogen, I’ll be totally fucked, as I don’t produce any testosterone anymore.

So it’s quite grim on that side also. I don't know when I will get a hold of any clinic or physician to support me.

Springtime is coming… very, very slowly. There is a good chance also my state is related to the fact I feel imprisoned and actually am in this fucking depressing room, so I’m lacking light, and especially sunshine… vitamins. I cannot live with no sun.

It’s difficult for the human brain to understand how much biochemicals are essentially what makes our mood. But we have so little knowledge about them.

I also find it pointless to write, as humanity will simply end shortly anyways, or Internet at least, and printing and all. We might very well end up one thousand years back if not 3000… Nukes on top of our heads I lived with all my life but it never seemed so probable than now that it will actually blow up before my eyes.

I lost my sunshine. Her soul is taken and bolted on to a stupid loser who abuses her. She will surely go back with him, she actually likes it. I tried to help her. I don’t think I succeeded. This is what she has to go through in her life. The autistic spectrum seems to be a path to abused lives.

I’m doomed. The only solution is the lottery. If I become rich, millionaire, things could change. I could help people and that would make me feel good.

I don’t know… there’s nothing really driving me to see the end of this day March 10, 2022.

Dominique Rock